no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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