The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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