i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
