I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
