Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
