That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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