I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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