We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
