just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
