WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
