Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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