first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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