Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
