If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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