Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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