the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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