a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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