I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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