mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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