ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
