There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
