Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
