Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
