Are we in a gay sports bar?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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