So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
