Walk of Shame. In a state park.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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