I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
As shirtless as possible
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
