I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
