the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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