I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
