Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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