he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
