you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She tied me up with her honor cords...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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