he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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