It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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