i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
