I think I am morally bankrupt
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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