I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
