sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The maid of honor just puked.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
