New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
