Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
