We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
