I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
