Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
