Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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