Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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