I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
