One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
