Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
