i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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